Romance reading for J

J the Lovesick Capricorn writes:

I’m very interested in a Cancerian romantically, and wonder if there’s interest on his part, and if there’s the possibility of a relationship sometime in the near future?

Well J, Cancers are very easy to love… and I’m not just saying that because I am one!

I looked a bit for a spread I liked and when I couldn’t find one that really fit, I made one up. Mel’s seven card love spread! Here’s how it works:

13X6
XX5X
24X7

1. What he means to you
2. What you mean to him
3. What you want
4. What he wants
5. Your biggest obstacle to a relationship
6. Do this if you want to be in a relationship
7. Don’t allow this to happen

And here’s the cards I pulled (best viewed on the flickr webpage full size):

The first thing that I notice in this reading is an overwhelming majority of reversals. That’s okay, I’m comfortable with reversals! I read them as a blocked form the energy of the (upright) card. I see the cards in reversed as something the querent is either avoiding or should avoid (or denying or resisting, etc.). What that tells me though is that there’s much confusion, denial and general muck to work through for these two hearts to come together. At my first glance I say it is possible for a relationship to develop, but it will only happen through much soul-searching and honesty. Let’s work through the cards one by one now.

1. What does he mean to J? 8 cups reversed. I see this as a definite fear of the unknown. J is unable to make a move on her Cancerian dreamboat though she is aware that the season for doing so is ripening. The eight of cups is all about letting go of old emotional baggage to begin on a new journey — a journey that you perhaps haven’t even packed for yet! You don’t know how it will end, but you feel a great sense of adventure and it is a courageous climb to the top of your dreams. I see that a healthy relationship with sweetie may be her goal, but previous attachments are weighing her down. J, you’ll never get what you want unless you go for it!

2. What does she mean to him? 6 wands reversed. Perhaps our Romeo crab doesn’t exactly see J as a suitable love-interest. And it’s not because he doesn’t enjoy her company, but rather, is unsure whether or not he even deserves a relationship with her! I don’t want to get too ahead of myself, but the five of cups in reverse right next to this card suggests to me that he’s had some bad luck with relationships in the past and he’s not exactly sure what he wants — except that he doesn’t want to suffer another loss. There are definitely self-esteem issues with him and Cancers have a tendency to avoid calculated risks, especially in matters of the heart.

3. What does she want? Princess of wands (Princesses in the Victoria-Regina deck are akin to Pages). Well here’s a pretty straight-forward card! It’s upright even! J wants to cut through all the crap. To reach the heart of the matter and clear away all this confusion surrounding their relationship. The Princess here represents her need for a relationship grounded in honesty and clarity, where they can use their critical processes to overcome obstacles, rather than letting melodramatic emotions fuddle everything up.

4. What does he want? Well, Romeo doesn’t want to make another mistake! He’s just had enough and he’d rather be numb and detached than risk a broken heart. He’s going to drive J away though, unless he can learn to get over his disappointments. To know great love is to know great loss. Or better to have loved and lost… or any of the other clever spilt perfume sort of sayings. His biggest desire is to avoid heartache, but I fear he’ll find it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end.

5. The biggest obstacle to a relationship: The High Priestess. Oh my gosh. You know, sometimes I read for people and I just want to scream “JUST TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL ALREADY!” The High Priestess here, her obstacle that she’s throwing at these two — the overarching theme of their relationship at this point is mystery! Neither one of them knows what is going on with the other one because they are not willing to take a chance in revealing true feelings and intentions. I mean, it could be worse! It could be a falling tower or a temperamental king! But nope, it’s just their unwillingness to make the first move. Well, here’s some advice from me to you J; go up to Romeo, wrap your arms around him and whisper in his ear, “I think you’re wonderful!” It worked on my husband!

6. Do this if you want a successful relationship. 7 cups reversed. Here’s my take on this: until your relationship energy is fully mature — and I’m talking Princess of Swords kind of honesty between you two — don’t give in to flights of fancy, lingering doubts, nagging fears, etc. You really need to stand firm in your resolution to stand by each other and avoid the 7 of cups if at all possible. Perhaps another reader would have a comment on this card in this position. While you can go ahead and wish for the stars for your relationship, don’t go pushing those dreams of happy family, growing old together, etc., etc., until your feet are firmly planted in reality.

7. Don’t do this! Death, reversed. For goodness sakes, any romance worth its salt is going to completely transform who you are. Don’t resist this, go with it! Don’t lose your sense of self, but don’t expect to come out of this the same person either.

I’ve found it extremely helpful in my relationship with my husband if we hold each other accountable for honesty and if we do little “check-ins” with each other now and then, where we discuss openly and without fear of rejection, the state of our relationship. This might be something you’d want to consider in your pursuits of your Cancer, J. Good luck, in any case! The future is yours to make, remember that.